Changes make me grow

23. februar 2018

I don't like change. I am not sure how that can be possible, in the last 12 years of my life, everything has changed multiple times.

I moved from Baltimore, where I spent 22 years of my life, to Danmark. I learned a new language, made new friends, after leaving all my old ones behind. I got married, started a new job and had children.  Moved from Aalborg to Hinnerup to Viborg, changed from volunteer to Missionærmedhjælper to Ungdomskonsulent... and every time I hated the change. And now here I sit, wrapping my head around change once again.

See 15 days ago, God blessed my wife Maria and I with our third child, a beautiful baby girl named Naomi, and all of a sudden life changed once again.  If you don't have children it is difficult to explain how a new baby changes things.  

They are wonderful little creature, reminding you both of the fragility and wonder that is life... but they are also a 24-7 responsibility.  They do not care about your bedtime.  They do not care that you are hungry, or need a shower, or just want to watch Netflix for 5 minutes.  They require constant care and attention...and that requires change.

Why I hate changes?

So my question to myself has why do you hate change so much?  What has come out of all of the changes in your life?  Have they been good or bad?  

Well honestly pretty much every change over the last 12 years has made me change and grow as well. I didn't know how to speak a language... so I learned and changed, I didn't know how to preach, or teach and was new to counselling... so I learned and changed. I had no real idea what it meant to be a husband or a father, but with time and work and listening and learning I learned and changed.  

All the changes I have faced in my life have forced me to grow and change and become a different and better version of the man I am now.

God lead me in the changes

So why do I hate it so much?  Well I think for 2 reasons.  

1) It is hard, it makes me work and push myself and deal with no sleep, or not understanding, or making mistakes and saying sorry.  

2)  it takes trust.  When change happens, I am no longer in control (not that I ever really was) and now I need to trust God that he knows what he is doing.  That he will help me grow to meet this new change, this new thing in my life.  That He will lead me once again and form me more and more into the man he knows I can be.  

Even though he has never failed me, I still hate change....but that doesn't mean I am not looking forward to where this new one will lead me.

May God bless all of you as you deal with the changes that come in your lives and may His grace lead you thru.